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Why I Cover Kevin J. Johnston

So, Kevin decided to post a video on Twitter about why millennials cover/talk about Kevin J. Johnston. He likens not paying attention to his shit to “changing the channel” and other such idioms. Here’s the one simple thing he forgets though:

He runs for public office frequently.

Seriously, Kevin. You want to be our Mayor in this beautiful city you and I call home. As far as I know, you ran for Mayor thrice. And you run on the most batshit insane platforms that one can run for public office on. You run your campaigns with hate and division against muslims, trans people, women, and other minority groups that you happen to despise. You fearmonger about things that would improve the lives of Calgarians. These include:

  • Wearing masks during a pandemic.
  • 15 minute cities (because heaven forbid we have walkable cities)
  • Mosques
  • Taxes. (Because heaven forbid government is able to pay for services we can all enjoy).

Shortly after your last run for public office, you went to Dawson Creek, British Columbia to participate in an anti-mask superspreader event. Then, after the event was done, you went into NoFrills without a mask, stole a bar of soap, and punched the manager.

However, you didn’t stop your criminality there. Your mayoral campaign featured harassing and threatening Alberta Health Services employees. The mayoral candidates all had to agree to band together and support Elections Calgary in denying every candidate elector data so that you couldn’t get your hands on it. So that you couldn’t find the personal details of your personal enemies and harass them.

But you’re upset with how people talk about you? Honestly, fuck you. You put your bile out onto every social media network that’ll have you and you think you can dictate the rules of engagement? The hell you do!

People died because of your misinformation, asshole.

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Why I’m Sticking With Dvorak

Anyone who’s ever tried to use any computer I’ve had over the past decade has learned the hard way that I’m a Dvorak typist. In fact, I’ve been typing on the Dvorak keyboard layout for almost a decade now. I learned the Dvorak keyboard layout during the 2013 floods in Boulder County, Colorado. At the time, I was living in Longmont. I was stuck at home due to the rain. Transit wasn’t running at all, so I needed something to do to pass the time. So, I decided to whip out a keyboard map I printed from the Dvorak Zine and switch my new MacBook’s keyboard to Dvorak. No time like the present!

Confession Time: Why I Needed To Learn the Dvorak Layout

A bird perched atop a branch
I bet this bird could hunt and peck.

I used to hunt and peck when typing. Yes, I was someone who programmed for a living and was hunting and pecking. I learned a ton of bad habits when I was learning how to type, which is odd since I took a keyboarding class in high school. However, my typing speed was never that great. It was high time to fix that shit. Dvorak was my ticket to touch typing.

And it worked. I’ve been touch typing ever since I spent a week learning the Dvorak keyboard layout. Now, the thing is… can I tell you where the “o” is on a Dvorak keyboard? Sure. Could I tell you if I weren’t allowed to move at all and/or I weren’t in front of a Qwerty keyboard? Not a chance. I’d be telling you from muscle memory. I know that my left ring finger would be the one to hit the “o” on the Dvorak keyboard, meaning that it would be the letter “s” on the Qwerty keyboard. It’s pure muscle memory.

Enter Colemak

A race.

So, if I’ve found a tool that works for me, why bring it up? Point is, I’ve been aware of another alternative keyboard layout called Colemak. And I’ve given a little thought to switching to Colemak. But the thing is, my speed is pretty appreciable and based on the advice of others, I don’t think Colemak could help improve it any further. I know I could hit 70-ish WPM if I took a typing test without preparing right now.

Point is, Dvorak is doing what I need it to do for me. I type pretty well and I do so without having to look at the keyboard except if someone hypothetically asked me why I’m hitting the wrong keys and yet, typing the right words. But usually, I’m too fast for people to notice that sort of thing. The fact that randos typically can’t just walk up and use my laptop is an added bonus.

I’m not looking to be a speed demon. I’m just looking to start writing novels.