So, I’m working on a fairly big romance novel and honestly, it ebbs and flows. I’m currently just a bit over 30,000 words in. What’s been the most challenging thing for me is writing the sex scenes. And now, I have a new challenge: I just had to break up with my partner of 3 years.
Now, I can already hear the criticisms coming at me. Especially since, from the outside, the relationship looked good. I thought so too. His friends and my friends would see our pictures when we would see each other and talk about how happy we are together. I’m not entirely sure that’s altogether true, though. I was in love with someone else. I was in love with the man I thought he was. Not the man he actually was.
I choose hope, authenticity, and true love. I’m willing to wait for it. I’m willing to fight for it. If there’s one thing I learned through my divorce, it was that I don’t want to be stuck in a relationship where I’m not loved.
Needless to say, I don’t want to go too deep into the whys. I’m more interested in recovery. The whys can come later.
So, what now?
Now, I need to recover. I need time to heal. However, I’m going to use that time to do what I can to advance my goals. Maybe I’ll tell the story sometime when it’s not so painful. For now, though? I’ll put my aspirations into my work.
I’m not going to talk publicly about why the relationship ended, though I’m definitely planning on journaling so I can get a sense of what’s going on. So I can work through my feelings and hopefully get them out onto the screen.
I’ll talk about the love I dream of. Healthy, beautiful relationships between imperfect people who find and fall for one another as they truly are. Maybe I’ll find my own happily ever after one day. But for now, I’ll work on my happy for now.